SSC-Wild Card
Do not forget the old god relic.... Wild Sh!t.....
Wild Sh!t's fleet join's Titan's and Ambush's armada in hopes of defeating Fahd and Indigo and the Black Widows for control of Sol and Mucho ham!
Wild Card (Aka wild Sh!t): Prepare to attack.... on the count of three..... one, two, th....
(See if anyone knows what comes after this! HA!)
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SSC-Ambush
Me: Titan We Need Reinforcements we can't take anymore hits, you there?? TITAN???
Lieut: We've Lost Communications Sir.
Me: NO!!!
Lieut: Hull at 20% Sir. What should we do?
Me: Tell the Whole Ship to Evacuate, We've only got a few more minutes.
Lieut: Yes sir, Evacuation in Progress 10 more minutes left.
Me: Go Lieut!
Lieut: But Sir Your Not Coming??
Me: I WILL NOT ABANDON MY SHIP!
Lieut: But...
Me: GO! THAT'S AN ORDER!
Lieut: yes sir

Me: Bring It ON!
Will The Evacuation go okay? Will The Hamcifer and Ambush Survive?
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SSC-Renegade_R
:::The Redagener fleet warps right in front of the Hamcifer:::
:::Sending transmission:::
Renegade_R: Attention Ambush, the Redagener fleet is geting tired of your delays and waiting. You shall now give us all the remaining ham you have aboard the Hamcifer, or I shall shoot you all down. I have already begun the charge up the lasers and you have little time to decide. Make your choice now, GIVE ME THE HAM!!
:::Closes transmission:::
Lieu R: Renegade...
Renegade_R: Yeah?
Lieu R: We have traced several juggernauts heading towards us, they seem to be after the Ham as well.
Renegade_R: Ok, we shall make sure we get the ham first, once that is done, vaporize the other fleets.
Lieu R: Roger
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SSC Fahd
Muahahahahahahahaha Titan I sent back one of my Sathanas's through the node to the Delta Serpentis side, you shall not pass!
Bridge: Sir the Hamicifier is nearly down, shall we continue firing.
Me: Negative, deploy the marines.
Bridge: Roger, five Aeoulas class transports on their way.
Me: They are to board the vessel, capture as much ham as possible. Also I want Ambush ALIVE.
Bridge: Sir we just got something of Renegades fleet.
Me: relay it to my quarters.
"Ok, we shall make sure we get the ham first, once that is done, vapourise the other fleets"
Me: Allies you can never rely on them, good thing I thought of fitting in listning bugs into every allied fleet.
Me: Bridge prepare the fireworks!
Bridge: Sir! Are you sure you want to do that?
Me: Very sure
Bridge: All ready sir.
Direct Communication to Renegade's ship....
Renegade: What do you want now?
Me: Should you make one move to fire upon any other allied fleets, I will press a little harder on a red button, and some pretty fireworks will light up space!
Renegade: You what !!!!
Me: yes I planted explosives aboard your fleet, near the core reactors, cunning wasn't it
Renegade: You shall pay dearly for this Fahd!
Me: When you catch me that is, oh and BTW you should always have a team of people checking your ship for bombs, tut-tut I always prevent those kind of things happening.
Renegade: You people (point to a group of officers on board vessel) find and disable those bombs
Me: Touch the bombs and they go off, there coated with finger print sensors, if anyone except me touches them they go off.
Renegade: Fahd !!!! I'm gonna kill you for this !!!!
Me: Yeah whatever!
:: Closes transmission ::
Me: Bridge where are those transports?
Bridge: Almost there sir.
Me: Good, how long till Indigo arrives in SOL.
Bridge: 120 seconds sir.
Me: That's good, that juggernaught I sent can't hold off titan forever. Is the Orion ready?
Bridge: Hot and waiting. Sir what are you going to do about Wild Card?
Me: If he brings a fleet in, I have another surprise waiting in store.
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SSC-Ambush
::Personal Log::
This will probably be my last entry, the Hamcifer's Hull is down to 5% and the ships have stopped firing at the Hamcifer for some reason. I'm the only person on the ship, the rest are on the dark side of moon sitting helplessly. My weapons are still functional but the enemies are out of range. Most of my power is on the security weapons, they'll be sending marines at anytime now so I have to be ready for a fight.
::End Of Personal Log::
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SSC-Renegade_R
:::Personal Log:::
All of my attempts to capture the ham has been useless, I am now starting to think that my 5 capital ships were not enough. But I wonder what he meant when he planted bombs aboard the Renegade fleet. The Redagener fleet belongs to me, not the Renegades. I still don't understand why the Renegades defected from my fleet, apparently they had their minds set on the ham as well. I'll make sure that the Renegade fleet is prepared for the worse.
:::Closes log:::
:::Send Transmission to Fahd's ship:::
Renegade_R: What is this treachery, planting bombs on former Renegade confederates. Even though some of my own ships have been destroyed, I shall leave you be, I shall go bombard another source of delicious food....
:::Ends Transmission:::
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The Baron
Enter...
the BolognaMaster 5000(R).
--Transmission to Hamcifer--
Me: Hamcifer, prepare to transport all cargo and personnel to the BolognaMaster 5000(R). You will be defended by the BolognaCannon X15(R), meaning that those pathetic ham-wanting humans, Shivans, what have you cannot will never know what hit them. (to bridge officer) Disengage BolognaMasker 800(R), and prepare for docking. The ham will be mine yet.
--End Transmission--
Yum. Ham.
Lieutenant, continue charging the BolognaPulsar 8100(R). If these humans, Shivans, what have you get near us, detonate it....
(Just a note to everyone--every post in this thread should end with something stupid like this, you know, like the little stupid movies back in Ye Olde Days)
Will Ambush abandon the Hamcifer for the BolognaMaster 5000? Will Indigo and Fahd destroy them before it's too late?
And what IS the BolognaPulsar 8100(R)? Will the Baron actually use it?
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The Baron
Ambush, I forgot to mention that I can create BolognaGates, which are like jump nodes, only that they rip a hole in the Bologna-Space-Time continuum...
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SSC-Ambush
Ummmmmm......My Communication Systems r down.
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SSC Fahd
Marines: 4000 M and closing, what the unidentified transport docking with the vessel.
Me: Bridge get me a scan of it.
Bridge: Sir we don't have any record of it in our databases.
Me: Marine fighter cover, disable all remaining live turrets, and under no circumstances are you to use missiles or ordinary lasers, just the disrupters.
Fighter cover: What about the transport.
Me: You have full authorization to destroy it, its obviously hostile, just don't do any damage to the destroyer.
Fighters: Roger that sir, moving in to attack and disable.
Fighters: Sir our weapons are having any effect against the transport!
Me: Get a close scan of it.
Fighters: Yes sir .... It's nothing like anything I've seen before sir.
Me: Damn it! If we can't get the transport of the docking hatch then we can't get the Ham. Marines, you are to use the fighter bay, I want six fighters to go in with them as well just in case..
Bridge: Sir an incoming transmission.
Me: ok let in on.
Renengade R: What is this treachery, planting bombs on former Renegade confederates. Even though some of my own ships have been destroyed, I shall leave you be, I shall go bombard another source of delicious food....
:: closes transmission ::
Me: Send a message back to him saying if any of the fleets ships fire on the allied forces they will be destroyed, he is responsible for his fleet and its personal.
Bridge: Sir out transports and fighters are about to enter the fighter bay.
Me: good tell them they are to seize as much ham as possible, as I want Ambush alive, so under no circumstances are any guns, except stun guns to be used on him. Also tell them to be wary, that docked transport looks dodgy. Also where is Indigo ?
Bridge: Sir he hasn't come yet.
Me: call in the Orion, we can wait no longer for him, Titan is about to overwhelm the juggernaught. Keep me informed of any updates.
Will SSC-Fahd get the Ham, or will Baron stop him. Will Indigo make it to SOL before the node is destroyed. Find out in the next posting of the Ham saga.
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SSC-Titan
Back on board the Aggamemnon
Titan: Status !
Lieut: Juggernaught at 8 percent hull intgrety. Our hull is at 95 percent. Fleet has taken moderate losses.
Titan: Oh well. Continue firing pattern launch any Plasma bombs available at it.
Lieut: Roger.
Then in a glorious eruption of fire and debris the Behemoth dies a slow painful death.
Titan: Great prepare to make jump to Sol! Tell the fleet to stand by though. Send a scouting party of 15 interceptors and 2 assault frigates. Also 5 multi gun corvettes.
Lieut: Roger that Scouting party away. Recieving telemetry.
The Hamicfer at 5 hull integrity, Juggernaught at 98, 2 unknown vessels. One appears to have a marking BolognaMaster5000(R) on it...
Titan: Ok fleet. Prepare to make the jump. Destroyers first then Ion cannon frigates forming a firing ring. Assault Frigates create support fire up the middle lets drive our way through. And Then the real killer Heavy Cruisers. Stand by and Jump 1 minute into the fray.
Lets do it!
what will happen next? Will Titan be victorious? Will Ambush live? What is this mysterious vessel? Find out next time of the Ham Chronicles.
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SSC-Ambush
Well...They have started docking, my lasers are holding them off, not for long.
I must do what is necessary to survive,
::SSC-Ambush takes His HaM and creates a Small Army of Haminators::
They won't get me with out a fight!! Now!!
::Ambush Gives A Briefing to All the Haminators::
Me: The Marines are on bored, At ALL costs. Use ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to keep this ship running and alive. If we fail we lose the HaM, we lose our Lives. It's either this ship blows up or we win and jump for repairs. There is no way they're getting the HaM. Got That??
Haminators: YES SIR!
Me: Dismissed.